“Endless Pain”

“Well I used to think that bad times lay behind me,
I used to think I’d had my share of pain
My friends all tried to tell me I was dreaming,
Yeah, but I just stood behind you all the same…”

“Love U ‘Til I Don’t” – The Wildhearts

 

Confession time:  Even by usual standards, this months post is going to be a bit random. However, what follows may be a cautionary warning to those that are thinking about broadening their “Hockey fan horizons” in looking for a team to follow across the pond in tandem with their UK based club, but more of that later, so whilst it’s not exactly Storm or Manchester Hockey related, it’ll hopefully be of use to some (and no doubt amusement to others!)

One of the things I’ve found about blog writing is that it can be incredibly cathartic (and for those following the current series between the Leafs and Bruins, you’ll understand how writing this has possibly helped with my current state of mind.  It must be fantastic to watch as a neutral – as someone with a dog in the fight, not so much).

It’s also no secret to some close friends that I’ve been struggling with my usual passion for the game for a multitude of reasons over the past season or two (some reasons I’ve managed to work out and others I’m still searching for), but it’s fair to say that this past week or so has brought some of it back (something that obviously may all fall apart in the next couple of days at the time of writing!)

At the time of starting the first draft of what follows, it’s 7:25 on a Saturday morning, I’m hungover and surviving on approximately 4 hours sleep.  This, ladies and gentlemen, is the glamorous world of the UK based NHL Hockey fan.  I had the idea and even have an almost complete post about how to go about choosing an NHL Team to follow for a while (one of those rare occasions where the blog/song title and subject matter came pretty much at the same time) and in it’s mostly-written form is one of my “spare posts” – something that I was either going to use in the off-season where writing becomes harder (for obvious reasons) or for one of those months during the season where there’s not much going on (I was hoping that said occasion would tie in nicely with the start of an NHL season, hopefully fooling people into thinking “hey, he doesn’t just throw this stuff together after all!  Who knew?”)

So, laptop precariously positioned amongst last nights empty beer bottles, biscuit wrappers and crisp packets (and not yet even getting around to make myself a much-needed coffee to help clear my hangover), let me begin “The Ballad of a long-suffering Leafs fan…” (I’ve just realised that this would make the great entry point for a yet-to-be-made film)

The story begins at the turn of the century, at a point that most fans find themselves at some stage of their fandom.  Aware that (arguably) the “best league in the world” exists across the pond, the decision was made to maybe check out some games on television and adopting a team (for newbies/people that haven’t reached that stage yet, as mentioned above, I’ve a mostly written piece almost ready to go with (maybe not entirely serious) hints and tips on how to go about it, so hang in there)

I mentioned briefly in the blog “Dirty Black Summer” that for me personally,  it was a fairly simple decision to make.  At the time, my brother was engaged to someone from Toronto (they’ve since married and he’s emigrated) so in my infinite wisdom, it made sense to throw my hat into the Maple Leafs ring as maybe that could be my best chance of getting to see a live game at some point in the future.  (Obviously, any type of research whatsoever would have revealed that Leafs tickets are the most expensive in the NHL and that they are also incredibly rare, but where’s the fun in research?)

A couple of other interesting points are that this being the late 90’s/early 00’s, the Leafs were actually a pretty good team/organisation and so not only were Playoffs every season pretty much the norm, but deep Playoff runs too.  Also social media, especially as we know it today, wasn’t even on the radar so it was possible to record the game in the middle of the night and unless you were incredibly unlucky, be able to watch it completely spoiler-free the following day.  (This is something that is almost impossible to imagine these days.  I actually tried it earlier in the season (recording it to a Sky box rather that the trusty old VHS tape of yesteryear, obviously) and by lunchtime realised that I have a almost insatiable social media addiction. Needless to say that I made it through and thankfully the Leafs won, but I’m not sure I could manage it again!  Oh, and the shakes from severe Twitter withdrawal stopped after a couple of days)

Another thing of note is that in those days, NHL coverage was pretty much limited to a couple of “as live” games (as in usually broadcast a day or so behind in the regular season or an hour or so behind in the case of Playoffs) on Channel 5.  As the internet was pretty much exclusively dial-up, there were almost certainly no *cough* “dodgy websites” offering game streams, so for the longest time (or certainly Playoff time), it was a case of tuning into internet radio to follow the game.  To be honest, this isn’t quite as bad as it sounds.  With a bit of practice, you could usually begin to picture the game and the action in your head (then tune into Channel 5 for the footage later if required – a bit like a primitive version of “forgetting to turn Flashscores off” when watching these days – please don’t tell me I’m the only one…)

Fortunately, around 2002 (from memory as I sadly can’t find confirmation of the exact year anywhere online) there was a revelation – NASN (or “the North American Sports Network” to give it it’s full title) arrived on our screens.  As it would suggest, here was a subscription channel showing all the major American sports and a couple of shows – “Pardon the Interruption” was a particular favourite where two hosts would argue over the big topics of the sporting day, along with “NHL on the Fly”, etc). Words cannot even begin to describe what a big deal this was at the time, especially from a Leafs fan perspective, as it promised to broadcast “Hockey Night in Canada” (complete with “Coaches Corner”) every Saturday night

Sadly, this only lasted for a couple of years.  NASN was replaced with another channel, “Hockey Night in Canada” and even the promise of a regular Hockey game on a Saturday night disappeared from the schedule and not even Channel 5 showed games any more

By coincidence, this also tied in with a decline of Leafs fortunes.  The lockout of 2005 changed the game in numerous ways, including the introduction of a salary cap.  From a Leafs perspective, this was a terrible position to be in, (and from pickled memory) already having a number of large contracts on their books and a less-than-great GM (to put it politely.  This is the same GM that traded Tuukka Rask to the Bruins in exchange for Andrew Raycroft (what do you mean, who?  Oh, believe me, us Leafs fans remember and it’s also a reason I can’t look at Rask to this day…)  Where once Playoffs had been a regular occurrence to the point where it was pretty much taken for granted, they now became a pipe-dream.  After being eliminated in the second round by Philadelphia in 2004 (I love Jeremy Roenick – his book is highly recommended reading , but not sure I can ever forgive him for scoring the game winner in that final Playoff matchup, although like he says, we should have beaten them.  Yep, still hurts), they would not return to the post season for almost another decade

Around the same time, on this side of the pond, my better-half’s son had started to take a keen interest in the game, having been introduced to it from watching Manchester Phoenix (by coincidence, his first game had featured a fight – a revelation to someone that had been brought up on football) and he was instantly hooked.  In turn, this led to a love of the Leafs (he was given a choice, honest!) but whereas I had memories of big names and success, he was starting at ground zero (also funny how things change.  Back in the day, I’d insist that he try and get a few hours sleep pre-game on a Saturday night and now that he’s in his early 20’s and I’m now that little bit older, it’s me getting a nap in before a game)

Fortunately, the internet had also improved in the following years.  The quality of the afore-mentioned “dodgy websites” improved from “barely watchable” (and there was nothing like the connection dropping out when you had a one goal lead with two minutes to go, I can assure you) to the point where it’s almost as good as watching on television (something I’d have gladly done and paid for if NASN had still existed, but what can you do?)

This brings us nicely up to the current day.  At the time of writing, the Leafs are up in the series three games to two against the much rivalled Boston Bruins.  As well as all the usual pressure that come with the Playoffs, we’ve also got the factor of not making it past the first round in 15 (long) years and we’ve also still got the spectre of the infamous “it was 4-1” game to put to rest (covered pretty well in the post “Good Times, Bad Times” for the unfamiliar).  Maybe this is why I was walking down my road at 3:30am this morning with a Canadian flag draped over my Leafs shirt, the pressure of an incredibly important game having been lifted from my shoulders and the need to breathe fresh air in the moonlit night to help settle the nerves

Will this finally be the year where we advance?  I’m hoping so.  I’ve been fielding questions from friends that are fans of other teams since September about do I think the Leafs will actually win the cup this year.  As much as I don’t for one second believe we’ll get anywhere near that far (I’m a professional pessimist at the best of times), we’ll know about the series in the next couple of days.  To be honest, I’d be quite happy to get swept in the next round, just so long as we actually make it to the next round (and the return to a normal sleep pattern would certainly be appreciated)

In the meantime, my stress levels are pretty high and I’m very grateful that all this coincides with Easter weekend.  Another slight blessing is that tomorrow nights game (at the time of writing) is a rare early evening game (not sure my nerves would let me have my usual “pre-game sleep”) and I’m sure that the neighbours will be happy about that too!

In the words of fellow Leafs fan and the highly recommended “Down Goes Brown”, “Caring about sports is something I do for fun that is less fun than anything else I do”